The First Step
by gitania
Summary: The first step was always the hardest... Ryan shares a moment with an almost stranger. One shot. Post S3.


Author: gitania

Rating: There's "sexual references", but nothing major. I'm not 100 percent sure of the new rating system, but I think that K+ should be high enough to keep me safe.

Disclaimer: I own the character of Callie, and the thoughts in my head.

Summary: "The first step was always the hardest…" Ryan shares a moment with an almost-stranger. One-shot. Post S3.

A/N: I have never liked to read that Author's think their own Summaries suck – but I have finally been hit by it myself. I have no idea how to classify this story and break it down into two sentences. Anyway, I hope it gives some idea of what's in store. Read, review, enjoy. gitania

The First Step

It was her perfume that had hit the memories home. Ryan had thought she looked familiar upon entering the room, but it was the scent on her skin as he brought her drink that caused his mind to flood with images.

He had done some drastic things after Marissa's sudden death – things he vowed to leave behind him when he moved back 'home', to the Cohen's pool house. He was forever trying to escape his past, but there she was, sitting calmly at the piano in a corner of the restaurant, quickly drinking the last of the water that he had brought to her only a minute before.

His new job, as a waiter in the town's top restaurant, was supposed to be his step one. The first of many small steps that would eventually lead his back to the path he was on before Marissa's death. College was on that path, and Ryan knew that a good education would be his ticket to a life that was more than where he was born.

But there were still three months before college began, and this better job meant more money and less time to spend battling with his thoughts. His mind dredged up the picture of the first time he had seen her, standing at the dingy bar outside of town where he used to work. She had ordered three drinks in quick succession, finishing them rapidly and suggesting that he join her in a round of shots. She hadn't needed to ask twice.

Her fingers moved gracefully over the piano keys, and Ryan remembered how they had moved across his skin. She was distant then, and seemed to be much more alive now than when he had seen her last. They had buried their pain in each other, and it struck him suddenly that he had never asked the reason for her vacant expressions and her desperation to feel connected to someone. She had never asked his reasons either. It hadn't mattered. She was never a girlfriend – she was an escape.

He had watched her face as she slept in his bed, but he had never felt drawn to her as he was now. She sang clearly, accompanying herself on the piano, and although this was her job – light entertainment for the dining elite – he saw a spark of joy within her; a passion for the music that she sang.

His break was almost over, and from his seat at the corner of the bar he stole one final look at the pianist. Callie. He remembered moaning her name as he collapsed against her. Capturing her mouth with his own. Feeling the renewed rush of guilt as he looked up into eyes that were not Marissa's. He knew that he was an escape for her, too. Callie was fighting her own demons; though, like him, she seemed to be gaining some ground on them now.

She finished the song with a twinkle of high keys and caught his eye suddenly as she turned her head to acknowledge the light applause. She knew he was there; she had remembered his face the moment he had exited the kitchens to serve his first customers. She offered him a small, understanding smile, and he felt a tug somewhere in his stomach; a small thrill at being remembered, and knowing that her memories of him were not dark and painful.

Her fingers began a new song, her head turned back to the sheet music before her, and the thrill disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. Ryan braced himself for the guilty stab that had always followed a significant moment with this girl. When it arrived he noticed that the feeling was not quite as sudden or as powerful as usual, but the shame at this realisation hit hard.

The sound of her voice filled his ears and he stood slowly. He filled another glass with water and made his way over to the piano. He caught Callie's eye as he neared and returned the smile she had given him from across the room, lifting the glass in questioning. She nodded her thanks and he closed the distance between them.

He leant down to set the glass on top of the grand piano lid, catching a glimpse of the moving hammers inside it. He quickly straightened to walk away, but could not avoid catching another hint of her perfume as he went. His stomach lifted slightly, and he felt a small amount of weight alight from his shoulders. He felt good for the first time in a long while, and before the guilt could catch him, he leaned down towards her again.

Callie finished the song more abruptly than she should have, giving Ryan her full attention. Beneath the cover of applause she heard him quietly clear his throat before looking up into her face. She smiled encouragingly and he summoned all of the honesty he possessed.

"Thankyou."

She nodded her understanding. It was a thankyou for their shared dark times, for letting him release his pain in her company, and she felt the same gratitude towards him.

"Thank_you_, Ryan," she said softly.

He walked back to the bar as her next song began, feeling the familiar guilt hit him as he had known it would. The first step was always the hardest, but he was beginning to notice the distance he had travelled.


End file.
